When we go out, Mitch and I always say this about each other: I am a wizard, and he is a sorcerer. I am a wizard because, while I’m really an ambivert, I tend to be more on the introverted side when it comes to meeting new people. Mitch, on the other hand, is an extrovert and has no problems talking to someone he’s never met before. This is what makes him a sorcerer.

If you’re not following, allow me to flex my nerd cred for a bit. In Dungeons and Dragons, both wizards and sorcerers are arcane casters. This means that they can use magical powers to perform incredible feats. However, they acquire that power through different paths. Wizards learn their skills through research and observation. Sorcerers, however, are innately magical and are born with this ability. Bringing it back to the way we socialize, this would be introverts and extroverts in a nutshell. Keep in mind, it’s not that one is better than the other, they are just two different ways of achieving the same goal.

Let’s break it down.


“A few unintelligible words and a fleeting gesture carry more power than a battleaxe, when they are the word, and gestures of a wizard.”

– Dungeons and Dragons (3.5 Players Handbook)

Primary attribute: Intelligence

They are think-to-talk people. Wizards are prepared casters, meaning that before they go out to take on the new day, they need to sit down and decide what spells they’re going to take with them. For example, if they know they’re going to a fire dungeon that day, they may bring a lot of fire resistance and ice spells. This allows wizards to optimize their spells for what lies ahead.

They focus on depth. Wizards need to focus for their spells and, while they do cast fewer spells per day than the sorcerer, they are able to cast more powerful spells.

They need to recharge. Spell casting can be exhausting for wizards and sometimes they need to leave the fray for a bit to regenerate their mana. They may even use this time to reflect on which spells worked well, and which ones would work better, before returning to battle.

While not technically a DnD thing, mana exists in other games and needing to recharge, with some alone time, definitely rings true for introverts.

If you are a wizard…

You have a strong sense of observation, are able to think in new and creative ways, and are internally focused. Prepare your spells before you go out, this can mean research where you’re going and what you’re doing, or even reflecting on your goals for the day or what you want to say when you get there. An easy way to prepare your spells is to come up with two or three simple openers and a handful of your best stories. When you get to your venue, walk around to get a feel for the room. When you are in a conversation, keep that conversation focused on them and use active listening to provide thoughtful feedback.

Your shortcomings: You are drained by small talk, have a need for privacy, and sometimes require a strong bond to be made before you feel comfortable socializing with that person. These shortcomings can make your interactions seem like a one-way relationship to some people. To combat these, have a goal in mind, start with the “why”. It’s not small talk if you’re talking to someone for a particular reason. Also, come up with a list of things about yourself that you’re willing to admit to people. Believe it or not, people will feel more comfortable with you if you reveal some information about yourself first. This will rapidly build a rapport with that person making both of you feel that “strong bond” that you’re looking for. If you notice that you’re feeling drained or getting tired, take a break and walk around but maintain focus on that social state. Sitting down, texting, or looking at your phone will break your state and make it harder to hop back into new interactions.


“Sorcerers create magic the way a poet creates poems, with inborn talent honed by practice.”

– Dungeons and Dragons (3.5 Players Handbook)

Primary attribute: Charisma

They are talk-to-think people. Unlike wizards, a sorcerer needs to draw from past experiences. While a wizard is up in the library, the sorcerer is in the training yard, shooting fireballs at target dummies. Practice allows the sorcerer to work through the how and why of their spells to better understand them.

They go wide. Sorcerers don’t need to worry about what spells they’re going to use on any given day. They only have a small pool of spells that they can pull from, but they know those spells very well. While they don’t have access to too many powerful spells, they are able to cast more spells per day than wizards. They are the multitaskers of the arcane world.

They are ready to go. Sorcerers are spontaneous. The arcane arts come easy to them and because of this, they are able to cast any of their spells on the fly. Sorcerers can get a bit repetitive sometimes, as they tend to use what they always use, but they also don’t need to worry about taking breaks or changing focus like wizards do.

If you are a sorcerer…

You have a strong sense of “do”. You are able to approach and engage in conversations easily, and are comfortable in almost any situation. Sometimes you may feel that you need to “think out loud”. Use that to your advantage to spark discussion and engage others in conversation. Even feel free to tell your favorite, relevant stories. People will really take to you when you share information about yourself first, just be careful not to overdo it. Just go out there and have fun.

Your shortcomings: You prefer to be in the moment and have a tendency to ramble on unnecessarily. This can lead to talking too much, or accidentally offending someone. When you’re in a conversation, take the time to ask for the other person’s opinion and wait for a response. Their two cents will help you gauge their interest level, give them a chance to add to the conversation, or change the topic entirely. Who knows, you may even learn something new from them.